From losing access to their kids, dealing with false accusations and having to battle with mental health and financial issues as a result, is enough for any sane person to be driven over the edge.
Last month, a male protester set himself on fire outside Parliament in Wellington. One of the signs he had been holding read, “Issue is not to take children’s mother away. Enough murdering father cult and lawyers.” Another read, “In Iran you stone mothers; in New Zealand fathers."
Sadly, the man died of his burns, and since the incident, several Men’s Rights, and Father’s Right’s support groups have once again highlighted the ongoing issues of how men can be affected by the court’s frustrating and disillusioned system, especially surrounding custody issues.
The need for changes in the court system and processes is apparent, but what about support for those men and their families?
One man is determined to make a difference in helping those affected by system, by providing ongoing emotional support and advice.
Zayne Jung is a father of two and one of the admins for the Facebook page, ‘NZ men and their families are fed up with the NZ Family Court’.
In 2014, Zayne started the Facebook page, seeking help, support and feedback from others because of a system that is abusing and misusing people. With an aim to raise awareness of how men, especially are treated in the Family Courts, and an aim to help provide another support system for them.
“The page helps support those who are going through the (Family Court) system. We have around twenty admins for the page, and we deal with a lot of fathers, and communicate with them on a 24/7 basis, giving them general advice on paperwork for the courts, advice on how to work with their lawyers, and sometimes funding (from our own pockets) when needed, but, most importantly, ask how they are doing.” says Zayne.
Drawing on his own personal ongoing experiences with the Family Court, Zayne understands what it is like for a lot of men who are too scared to come forward and tell their own stories, for fear of losing their children, but says too many men are also stubborn and often don’t want to seek the help they need that can lead to mental health issues, like depression and suicide.
For a lot of families, the process of dealing with the Family Courts begins with separation that affects the whole family and can often include false allegations from partners of non- existent abuse, either verbally or physically towards the mother or children, with a third world court system that favors proof with only one side of the story.
Men are often treated unfairly in this system with long, arduous processes that is failing NZ families and causing men to act out in violence towards themselves or others without little to no emotional support.
Zayne says there is a lot of outdated laws and processes that need to change as it abuses and violates human rights, with judges that use their own personal influences to judge men and their behavior in their court decisions.
“There is real damage and harm caused by the Family Court and their processes. Sometimes hearings can take up to nine months or longer to be heard, and then some men are still not allowed to see their kids, based on evidence that favors the Mother and what she says.” Says Zayne.
Mental health issues can be more prevalent in men, with 75% of suicide rates compared to other genders. Without the emotional support, many, even those with no criminal backgrounds, turn to drugs, alcohol or violence leading to imprisonment or fines.
With support groups like ‘NZ men and their families...’ Zayne says there has been an improvement in helping to change men’s mental state by the continued support like daily phone calls or texts, and taking the time to help these men understand the system with advice. One recent case Zayne dealt with involved a man battling with the Family Courts to see his children and dealing with suicidal thoughts. After reaching out to Zayne, the man was eventually able to understand what he needed to do, and is back on track, involved in his children’s lives.
“Getting feedback and hearing stories like that makes people feel like they are not alone, when they don’t have family around.” says Zayne.
Zayne would like there to be more awareness of what is happening to NZ families in the system, and says judges signing off on applications without adequate evidence in the Family Courts, and the court processes need to change, with more people educated in a different way, not just sending those to anger management courses, when it isn’t needed.
Subsidy and funding would go a long way in providing some financial assistance to men and their families who are unemployed, or struggling, and Zayne would like to see the laws becoming more accurate with good systems in places that work for the families, not against them.
“While we understand there is a lot of suffering out there, we also have to try to better ourselves for our kids. Kids needs dad’s no visitors.” says Zayne.
Links:
Facebook support page for NZ men and families: NZ men and their families are fed up with the NZ Family Court’.
About: The Facebook support page is ONLY for NZ Men and Women Supporting Father’s Rights’ that DO want to see their kids.
Email: nzmenfedup@gmail.com
NZ Ministry of Justice- www.justice.govt.nz/family/
